How to Become a True Friend?
How to Become a True Friend?
On December 25, 2010, a 42-year-old woman living in Britain shared a suicide note on her page on a well-known social networking site. In fact, from what she wrote, the woman was desperately seeking help. More than a thousand of his “friends” on the site were online at the time, but not a single one came to his aid. Police found the woman’s lifeless body a day later. The woman had taken an overdose of medication.
Today, thanks to modern technology, we can have hundreds or even thousands of internet “friends” just by adding their name to our contact list. And when we want to end one of these “friendships”, we simply delete the person’s name from the list. But the tragic event of the woman in Britain draws attention to a surprising truth: Many people are unable to form real friendships. A recent study showed that as we socialize more and more, the number of true friends is decreasing.
Like most people, you probably agree that it’s important to have real friends. And for you, friendship probably means more than just clicking things on the computer or phone. So what do you expect from a friend? How can you be a good friend? What is the secret of building unbreakable friendships?
Let’s see four principles that will help you with this, and how the valuable counsel from our Creator’s Word can help you become someone others want to associate with.
1. Show a sincere interest
True friendships require commitment. In other words, a good friend feels responsible for you and genuinely cares about you. Of course, such commitment is twofold; Both parties must make an effort and self-sacrifice. But the end result is well worth the effort. Ask yourself: Am I willing to sacrifice for my friend and use my time and possibilities? Remember, to have a true friend, you must first be a true friend.
WHAT DID THEY SAY ABOUT FRIENDSHIP?
Irene: “Just like creating a beautiful garden, building friendships takes a lot of time and attention. Start by asking yourself to be a good friend. Be generous in doing favors and showing personal attention to others. When people need you, be happy to give your time.”
Luis Alfonso: “Today’s society encourages egoism, not altruism. So when someone genuinely cares for you without expecting anything in return, it makes a lot of sense.”
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?
“Treat people the way you want them to treat you. Make it a habit to give, and people will give you” (Luke 6:31, 38). In these verses, Jesus speaks of the value of true self-sacrifice and generosity. Such a generous attitude fosters good friendships. If you give of yourself for your friends without expecting anything in return, they will naturally approach you.
2. Improve Yourself in Communication
A true friendship cannot grow stronger without regular communication. So chat about your common interests. When your friend wants to say something, listen and respect their opinions. Praise and encourage him whenever possible. From time to time, you may need to counsel your friend or even correct their mistakes, and it may not be easy. But a loyal friend takes the courage to make his friend realize his grave mistake and guide him without offending.
WHAT DID THEY SAY ABOUT FRIENDSHIP?
Juan: “A true friend should be able to speak his mind freely, but not get angry if you disagree.”
Eunice: “My dearest friends are those who are willing to spend time with me and listen to me, especially when I have problems.”
Silvina: “True friends tell the truth even if they know it will upset you; because they always want the best for you.”
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?
“Let all be eager to listen, but be in no hurry to speak and become angry” (James 1:19). Being a good listener is always appreciated in real friendships. But dominating the conversation creates the image that we think our opinions are more important than theirs. Therefore, when a friend wants to pour out his heart towards you, listen carefully. And don’t be offended if he’s honest with you. Proverbs 27:6 says: “The wounds inflicted by a friend are due to his faithfulness.”
3. Have Realistic Expectations
The closer we get to a friend, the more likely we will see his mistakes. Our friends aren’t perfect, but neither are we. Therefore, it would be wrong to expect or demand perfection from the people we are friends with. On the contrary, it would be good to value their good qualities and ignore their mistakes.
WHAT DID THEY SAY ABOUT FRIENDSHIP?
Samuel: “Often our expectations of others are higher than our expectations of ourselves. If we are aware of our own mistakes and remember that we need forgiveness, we will be more willing to forgive others.”
Daniel: “The fact that your friends will make mistakes