My love,
last year your marriage broke up and you are still sad and disappointed about it. But you gave birth to two charming boys in your 7 years of marriage and raised them. You had good and bad times as a family, went on vacation and you lacked nothing financially.
Your husband took care of that. When the facade of the new family house began to crumble, which your husband was building in the sweat of his brow after work, while you had raised the first child and continued your studies, you tried to seek a conversation with him.
He slapped you verbally. Housework, child care and education were not appreciated by him and did not satisfy his demands. You begged him, you tried to take the helm, you did everything in your power, but you were not heard. Unheard, your words faded in rooms with large windows and white walls. Dream home. Bubble. Like a soap bubble, seems beautiful, bursts quickly.
You did your best, because you had your family in mind. For the family. For the children. Out of love for the children. It’s always about the kids. But what if you stay on the track. How long can you survive a dry spell? You forgot who you were.
Do not hold tight. Let go gently. Piece by piece.
You slipped into a role after the birth of the children, which became more and more alien to you. Externally controlled by children, daycare, husband, in-laws, social ideas. Dissatisfaction would have been expressed mildly. Who were you again? You were at the end.
You had no more air to breathe. The environment almost crushed you and yet you are standing here. Raised head. You left without a job. Full risk. ”You had courage,” many women tell you. But you don’t call it that. You call it life. You wanted to live, not survive.
The children stay with him
There is more to life than just being protected by a partner, by a marriage. Many people feel the way you did. They function remotely in the hamster wheel, which is called (family) life. But you got the curve. It is important to constantly review your life anew and, if necessary, adjust it. You checked your situation. It is important to constantly review your life anew and, if necessary, adjust it. You weren’t afraid.
Now, after a year of changing the model, you are once again taking the helm. Meanwhile, you have a job. You’re moving out of here, out of town. The children stay with him.
It was a peaceful agreement. He proved himself well as a father. Sometimes you still have a guilty conscience. But you know, you raised the children alone for the first few years and gave them roots. As well as unconditional love. There comes a new section with new opportunities for everyone. Where one love ends, another flares up. You have allowed the love for yourself to germinate again, the love for life and you are open to new impulses. You are now 34 years old.
We only have one life.
Sometimes you have to give up what you most wanted. And that is not giving up in the known sense, but being able to let go. This is strength. Do not hold tight. Let go gently. Piece by piece.
You are not selfish, you know what it means to be a mother, but you are not just a mother as soon as you have children. You found a new love, met a man, although this was unimaginable for you after your failed marriage. But the most important thing is, you have found yourself again. You can look in the mirror and recognize yourself and be proud of it. You are strong and lovable and even if you don’t know what exactly you want from life, you know what you don’t want from life.
Life and you are connected. Life owes you nothing, but you owe everything to life, and that means not only surviving for you, but living! Full risk is better than weighing yourself in false security. So my dear: keep on accelerating. Full speed ahead, without a net and a double bottom, into a future that still has a lot of positive things in store for you.